Reply to What makes a spouse look loving to you from outside the relationship

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[quote=Anonymous]Was reading that "why do demanding women have such devoted husbands?" thread and it occurred to me that people have really different ways of measuring how good other people's relationships are.

I generally don't think that hard about how "devoted" someones spouse appears, but I definitely notice when people seem loving to each other. To me, it's things like being attentive when they are together (checking in on each other at a dinner party, for instance, to see if the other one needs a drink or wants to take a break from kid duty), as well as the way people talk about their spouse to others. I consider it a red flag when someone complains a lot about their spouse, both in front of them or when they aren't around. And conversely, I often notice when people say kind or complimentary things about their spouse.

Obviously you can never know what a relationship is really like, but what makes you think "Oh, they really love each other?" What aspects of your friend's/family's relationships do you want to replicate in your own marriage?[/quote]

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