Reply to So tired of endless court and stress from divorcing a narcissist

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your situation is worse than mine, but it does get better. I promise.

My ex is still a disaster, he’s a shitty “coparent” and purposely undermines everything I do with my child, but my life is a good life overall.

This phase will not last forever - I felt like I was just putting one foot in front of the other forever and then one day things were better and different.

I also did a lot of therapy, I used a therapist when I was in the middle of it all as a weekly support and crisis management strategy. Then (and I waited too long for this) I did EMDR to help heal the trauma of the abusive relationship so I could be in a healthy relationship (when I met my now fiancé I would have panic attacks when I thought about the future, or whenever we talked about our goals as a couple).

It doesn’t last forever, it’s really hard, and you are amazingly strong for doing what you need to to protect yourself and your children. I know it doesn’t feel that way now, I promise it’s true. [/quote]

Can you elaborate on the EMDR?[/quote]

EMDR is hard to explain. The best I can do is tell you that it borrows affect from happy memories and applies it to the traumatic ones so that you don’t react the same way when you think about them. I was totally skeptical, and didn’t believe that it would work, but it completely and totally changed my life. I did have to take anti-anxiety meds in order to be able to engage with the therapy because it was really difficult, but the PTSD was having a huge impact on my daily life, and I will be weaning off the meds soon because I no longer need them.

It was truly life changing and I highly recommend doing it. Completely, 100%, worth the money. [/quote]

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