Reply to What's a good/healthy/tear-free way for Ex-H to end each visit with DS instead of just sneaking off?

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Reply to "What's a good/healthy/tear-free way for Ex-H to end each visit with DS instead of just sneaking off?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is he not staying for dinner anymore?  We separated when our kids were 5 y and 18 m.  The split was especially hard on the oldest and separation after visitation was hard.  Our routine was (and still is) that Ex came over for dinner and helped with bed and bath.  I make dinner and clean up.  The degree to which I participate in visit is based on my entirely ad hoc assessment of - can we not fight? does he seem overwhelmed by juggling the 2 kids, meal prep, keeping to bedtime, etc.  I try to make the visits totally no pressure for him. We stick to routine days, but have flexibility to reschedule.  After dinner and bath, he reads a book to them and then tucks them in.  I go in to say good night after.  In this way our routine mimics what happened in our house before.  Only difference is that he is not there the next morning.

This sounds lame, like I'm totally catering to my Ex, but I do what I can (within reason) to make visitation painless for him.  I don't bring up issues between us.  It's all about him having a good time with kids.[/quote]

Not OP - this is so what is needed in my situation for myriad reasons. I just find it extremely difficult. He was depressed for years, refused to treat it, then started an affair and got treatment. I am still very angry that the kids got situational depression and then he bailed. Any thoughts on how to get from here to where you are? Were you the one who initiated the split? I think that would make a difference.[/quote]

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