Reply to If your sibling ruined their marriage, how do you interact with the ex-IL?

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Reply to "If your sibling ruined their marriage, how do you interact with the ex-IL?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I realize it takes 2 to be married, but in this case the sibling is an alcoholic who has relapsed numerous times over a number of years, despite a number of inpatient and outpatient rehab programs and other efforts. Spouse finally couldn’t live with it anymore (after many years and ultimatums), and announced intent to divorce.  There are kids; they will have joint custody with certain protections in place around the drinking.  Everyone, STBX-IL included, wants to support sibling in cleaning up their act permanently.

I’m struggling with what the relationship should/can be between sibling of alcoholic and their STBX-IL (and parent of niece/nephew).  STBX-IL has been a part of the family for many years; they weren’t besties with the siblings but spent many family vacations and holidays and weddings/funerals together over the years and everyone got along well enough and considered each other family.

So. Is there a loyalty thing where family sticks with sibling and “divorces” the STBX?  Is it OK/appropriate/right to reach out to STBX-IL and express support, remorse for the situation, love for the kids, something else?  Is the onus on STBX to set the tone with the family? [/quote]

I'm surprised at the replies saying you dump the STBX.

I'd probably continue to treat him or her as part of the family in this situation. If sibling doesn't like it, too bad.[/quote]

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