Reply to If your sibling ruined their marriage, how do you interact with the ex-IL?

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Reply to "If your sibling ruined their marriage, how do you interact with the ex-IL?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I realize it takes 2 to be married, but in this case the sibling is an alcoholic who has relapsed numerous times over a number of years, despite a number of inpatient and outpatient rehab programs and other efforts. Spouse finally couldn’t live with it anymore (after many years and ultimatums), and announced intent to divorce.  There are kids; they will have joint custody with certain protections in place around the drinking.  Everyone, STBX-IL included, wants to support sibling in cleaning up their act permanently.

I’m struggling with what the relationship should/can be between sibling of alcoholic and their STBX-IL (and parent of niece/nephew).  STBX-IL has been a part of the family for many years; they weren’t besties with the siblings but spent many family vacations and holidays and weddings/funerals together over the years and everyone got along well enough and considered each other family.

So. Is there a loyalty thing where family sticks with sibling and “divorces” the STBX?  Is it OK/appropriate/right to reach out to STBX-IL and express support, remorse for the situation, love for the kids, something else?  Is the onus on STBX to set the tone with the family? [/quote]

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