Reply to How did you grow up and live with a unstable, insecure, mean sibling?

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[quote=Anonymous]We have no relationship now. We are not hostile, just indifferent to each other. We don't live in the same country so there's no need for us to interact ever, even when visiting our parents as we're never there at the same time.

Growing up was difficult. My parents never fully understood that they were probably looking at some type of mental illness, so excuses were made for the verbally and physically abusive behaviour and there was no serious attempt at treatment (praying doesn't count). My brother was antagonistic to my parents as well, and especially vile toward my mother. Almost came to blows with my father. But he is still a much-beloved child, believed to simply be misunderstood. He is the eldest of us four.

I just keep my distance. He will never have a relationship with my child, although I do have a great relationship with most of his kids, except the youngest.

The experience definitely erased any illusions I had about the need to give my child a sibling. I know too well that that can go either way. I believe it affected my ability to trust that violence isn't always lurking just beneath the surface decency in men. I can also immediately see when insecurity is masquerading as dominance. It has been a useful skill to develop.[/quote]

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