Reply to How to find humor in a crappy childhood?

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[quote=Anonymous]DCUM, help me to paint this sad childhood in a light, humorous way, for sanity's sake.  So I can be able to share it with others without bringing people down and garnering pity and awkwardness all around.  I have always felt like I can not show people the real me, and you know what, I'm getting too old for this.  I don't want to go through my whole life hiding part of myself. I want to be whole.  I have this envy with comedians who are able to talk about some pretty dark stuff in their past, and make it funny.  It must feel cathartic.  To share that, and have people hear that part of your experience, and not judge you, but to share a laugh about it.

Here is the general picture. My dad had a sad life. My mom had a sad life. Lot of loss, poverty, physical abuse, alcoholism. My sibling and I had a sad life -less sad than theirs, but still.  Dad was verbally and physically abusive and ultra-controlling to us, probably a narcissist. We were lashed severely for the smallest infractions. We lived in constant terror and fear of our lives. Mom, always miserable and detached.  My sibling and I had no voice, no identities, no freedoms, no allowances for feelings, no preferences.  We were lazy, disappointing, uninteresting, boring, cold, loveless, spoiled, ungrateful, we didn't walk right, we didn't talk right, we didn't sit right, we couldn't do anything right.  We were not allowed to socialize with our peers, except for a couple "approved" friends.

The thing is, no one knows this part of my past except my sibling, and our spouses. If you met me, you'd never know. On the surface, I seem pretty well put together, have a decent marriage, happy, well-adjusted kids.  I've hinted to my friends about strict parents, but never told the whole story.  And so I always feel like there is sort of a wall between me and everyone else, a part of myself that I hide.  I feel like there is this well of sadness in my soul. And I feel like I need to be able to just package it somehow so that it is more palatable, less awkward and awful, and better yet, FUNNY.  But how???

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