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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I see you. I suffered years of significant emotional abuse and emotional/physical neglect at the hands of my mom, who has Borderline Personality Disorder. I ended contact 17 months ago, when she once again denied a sexual assault I survived in college. (This was the third time she tried to pretend she didn’t know.)

Ending this relationship is really hard, especially as you embark on parenthood yourself. I strongly recommend working with a seasoned therapist to process your grief and plan for the day you have to explain to your kids. My mother ended her relationship with her own mother (also BPD) and for years it contributed to my struggle with her.

You are doing a hard, brave thing. Being prepared for the complex feelings you’ll have as a mother—especially as you provide your own children the love and support you didn’t have, can be really complicated. Having someone to lean on and help—including with your partner—is incredibly valuable. Especially because people may come out of the woodwork to push you to reconcile—even those who know your history. You can stay strong and resilient in the face of this, but professional help is worth its weight in gold.

I am pulling for you. We motherless daughters are more common than you think, but too often invisible to one another. Wishing you much peace and strength.  [/quote]

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