Reply to What's a good/healthy/tear-free way for Ex-H to end each visit with DS instead of just sneaking off?

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Reply to "What's a good/healthy/tear-free way for Ex-H to end each visit with DS instead of just sneaking off?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP here.

Well, it may not be the most honest approach but what I've started doing is not being home when they get here. I figured that my presence was triggering DX's departure, so I will literally grab my purse and walk out of the house when they're on their way and make my way to Starbucks if need be in order to give them time together.

I came home yesterday at exactly dinner time and found them cuddled on the couch. DX, watching some football match, while DS played on his iPad. It was really nice to see them just being together.

We chatted for a split second, then I got started on dinner. DS came in to "wash his hands" (engage in fun water play in the kitchen sink) while I finished up dinner. When DX popped in to say he was leaving, DS actually waved a big grinning "bye bye!" They did their huggy kissy thing and DS went back to playing.

It. Was. Great.

I'm really hoping that DX sees how spending more time and creating a routine goodbye are key to making his departure bearable. Also, the "selling it" advice has been very helpful. "Daddy?" "Yeeeesss! You see Daddy tomorrow! Daddy's coming to see you tomorrow. Good job, buddy. Now, let's get ready for bed."

Thanks for the advice. We'll keep working on this. So far, so good.

[/quote]

Hey, I think it's great that you found a way to test the theory. Glad it worked/is working! 
FWIW, my son's been going back and forth between two houses for 7 years, and yeah, the routine where people say goodbye is important. [/quote]

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