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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for replying.. I thought no one cared as we are moving forward with adoption. We tried ivf 7 times not FET but retrieval’s all failed. Am at a point I cannot take this anymore physically or emotionally. Am drained and exhausted. Tried SG, CCRM nova and ccrm Colorado school craft.: no one could fix me... guess my case is that complicated and hopeless.

We have an idea. We are open to both domestic and international. But have to wait for 2 more years to get us citizenship to go international. We want the kid in our race. It should be a closed adoption. We don’t care abt the gender but would love to have a girl child. Since we are Asian, we need the kid to atleast look somewhat like us.. I don’t want people in Walmart and other places when we go shopping  wonder if we kidnapped the kid...and call the cop... no kidding that was written by someone in an adoption blog.

If you have any agency recommendations please do let me know. I live in the NovA area.[/quote]

I have literally never been accused of kidnapping my child of a different race......[/quote]

I am white with a child of another race.  I have been accused of kidnapping my daughter.  It happened when I was in Florida.  My friend is white with a child of another race.  She was accused of kidnapping her daughter.  That happened in DC.  I get the concern.

OP, I think that the PPs who suggest that you consider your parameters are on target.  Adoption is difficult.  I don't know how difficult it would be to adopt an Asian child domestically or even internationally.  Last year, the total number of international adoptions was less than 3,000, with less than 1/3 of the total from Asian countries.  (US Department of State reports the numbers from each country).  The wait is years long for a child from Asia.

I also want to echo the importance of considering your personal tolerance level for prenatal exposures to drugs, alcohol and smoking.  People are not all honest about their level of substance use and it is a real risk.  I've often suggested that people educate themselves about FASD - not because there is a high prevalence, but because it is a known risk, it is not identifiable at birth or even in young children, and the repercussions for the family are enormous.

Honestly, I think that while cost seems like it is a huge factor, it isn't as big of one as the other things.  You pay costs as you go, not in a lump sum.  The process can be long so you are spreading the costs out over what may be years.  It is expensive for sure, but it doesn't feel so bad when you break it down.

I hope you find answers that make you happy and bring you peace.

Are you white? [/quote][/quote]

OOPS!  Let me fix this:

I am white with a child of another race. I have been accused of kidnapping my daughter. It happened when I was in Florida. My friend is white with a child of another race. She was accused of kidnapping her daughter. That happened in DC. I get the concern.

OP, I think that the PPs who suggest that you consider your parameters are on target. Adoption is difficult. I don't know how difficult it would be to adopt an Asian child domestically or even internationally. Last year, the total number of international adoptions was less than 3,000, with less than 1/3 of the total from Asian countries. (US Department of State reports the numbers from each country). The wait is years long for a child from Asia.

I also want to echo the importance of considering your personal tolerance level for prenatal exposures to drugs, alcohol and smoking. People are not all honest about their level of substance use and it is a real risk. I've often suggested that people educate themselves about FASD - not because there is a high prevalence, but because it is a known risk, it is not identifiable at birth or even in young children, and the repercussions for the family are enormous.

Honestly, I think that while cost seems like it is a huge factor, it isn't as big of one as the other things. You pay costs as you go, not in a lump sum. The process can be long so you are spreading the costs out over what may be years. It is expensive for sure, but it doesn't feel so bad when you break it down.

I hope you find answers that make you happy and bring you peace.

[/quote]

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