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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]ick posts like this make me nervous for DC to start ES

can't believe cliques are still a thing as 30-40 year old women![/quote]

Same and same.

My personal experience is that women are worse about this stuff as they get into their 30s and 40s, and that kids exacerbate it. I think it's easier for women to get along when they are younger and the socializing happens at school or in public places like bars, or at big house parties. But the older you get, the harder it is to make friends and the harder it gets to see the friends you have. I think this leads to a scarce resource problem that some women exploit by trying to control friend groups and using ostracism and gossip to monopolize friends. It's awful. But I've learned that the best way to deal with someone like this is to just give them a very wide berth and trust that you can and will find better people elsewhere. Trying to beat the system they set up and control just makes them fight you harder and you'll never get what you want, which is for everyone to just act like a reasonable grown-up.

This will be a weird year for everyone. Your daughter will be fine, OP. You will find a way to get her what she needs, and you don't have to subject yourself to petty personal politics to get it. The last thing your daughter needs is for you to sacrifice yourself to this weird clique to try and make her happy. Teach her that weird cliques are dumb and best left to their own devices![/quote]

OP
I totally agree with this though I hadn’t really thought it through 
There’s this ‘grab’ of friends deemed worthy but then if you don’t perform or comply you’re all of a sudden ostracized 
My advice to moms navigating this for the first time is to go slowly and stay on the periphery as long as possible
One good friend is better than several bad ones 
Most of the moms at our school seem unhappy and insecure [/quote]

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