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[quote=Anonymous]My kid was a shoplifter.  And, the other day, I was self checking out at the grocery store and I had a piece of fish that the scanner could not read the code.  I put it aside to return, but when I packed up my groceries, I must have inadvertently threw it in a bag.  Unintentional, but I shoplifted.  Other than this, no, I haven't shoplifted.

But, back to my kid.  At first I would try to take what he stole.  But after awhile, I realized it was out of my control.  I cannot follow him around.  I cannot search his room everyday.  But, I will not pay for a lawyer if he gets caught.  Once, when I was with him, I returned the merchandise.  But that was the only time.

Eventually, I sent him to residential treatment.  Shoplifting is not the only issue and it's a symptom not the real issue.  That was helpful, but it did not completely fix it.  Not too long after that, things finally clicked in his life (lots of therapy in addition the the treatment as well as other things falling into place).  At that point, he just stopped.  But he has been banned from at least four stores that I know of.  I think we are now at about three months from the last episode and that is probably the longest in years.  Of course, he spent probably 75% of the past three years in hospitals and treatment programs so the amount of shoplifting is probably not as bad as I made it sound.

FWIW, I am horrified by it.  I felt and feel completely helpless.  If he had been arrested, it might have been better for us because the state would have paid for his treatment through the juvenile justice system instead of me paying for it.  But, on the other hand, I got to pick the treatment center and hospitals and they were excellent, so no regrets on that point.

Good luck OP.  I know many people whose kids shoplifted.  Many got caught and arrested.  They had to pay restitution.  All grew up ok.[/quote]

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