Reply to What's a good/healthy/tear-free way for Ex-H to end each visit with DS instead of just sneaking off?

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Reply to "What's a good/healthy/tear-free way for Ex-H to end each visit with DS instead of just sneaking off?"

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[quote=Anonymous]
He doesn't want to deal with the 2-yr-old's tears, so he just distracts him and jumps out the door. Sometimes, this works really well and DS is easily swept up in dinner time or playing in the backyard. Other times, he really notices and gets very upset.

My ex actually brings DS home from daycare most days. Before, he used to stick around until after dinner, so that was a natural conclusion to their time together. It was something that DS could anticipate.

Now though, ex is just as likely to drop him off, stopping only long enough to futz with his iPad a bit before heading right back out. Or, he'll watch part of a football match but leave before starting dinner. He used to take him to the park on the way home, which made just dropping him off the natural goodbye moment. It's just so random now and unpredictable.

We haven't talked about what these visits mean. [If we knew how to talk, we wouldn't be exes.] He was recently out of town for a few days, so I've brought up 1) the idea that these visits are bonding time and important to DS, and 2) there should be some way that they regularly say goodbye so that DS won't be anxious about him popping out or confused once he notices he's gone.

What do you do to provide a calm transition?

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