Reply to If your relationship is/was rocky, how did you decide to go?

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Reply to "If your relationship is/was rocky, how did you decide to go?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Op, go see a therapist for yourself if DH won’t go. And ask your DH to go, too - by himself if he won’t do couples therapy. Even if it doesn’t work out for the two of you, hopefully you will be ina better place if you do separate.

I’m married to someone who is previously divorced with kids, and you are spot on that you are trading one set of problems for another. Sometimes it’s still the right decision, but if you have kids you will ALWAYS be tied to him, and if your kids are still young you will need to be able to cooperate and collaborate on decisions for your kids. You get to walk away from a romantic relationship with him but (ideally) would still have a good working relationship. If your working relationship sucks, figure that out befor you divorce - you each have even less incentive to get along once you do divorce.

Honestly, seeing my DH and my DSC makes me double down on making my marriage work. It’s tough to share custody.

That being said, it takes 2 to make a marriage work, and if your DH isn’t willing to work in things (you need to, too) then you have really already made a decision, you just haven’t filed the paperwork.

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