Reply to DH & DS relationship is a bit weird & odd

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[quote=Anonymous]4 year old DS does not love DH as much as me (mom). He would sometimes run away from or ask DH to go away, and he is a mommy boy. DH is hand off parenting type, and he often chooses to play video games or cell phone over playing with DS at his free time to help him “de-stress” from work. DH grew up here with a weird family background, with FIL doing almost nothing with parenting & housework throughout his childhood. MIL grew up yelling at him all the time, and he did not feel much family love growing up. He says that parents basically provided him with food & shelter without actually raising him, but he grew up learning on his own. He does not have a close relationship with FIL & MIL.

The problem is that DH does not understand why DS does not love him that much, and he blames it over DS is a spoiled child that does not appreciate him. :roll: l have explained to DH that 1) DS is just 4, and he sometimes likes to say non-sweet words on purpose, saying you go away. 2) Father needs to make effort & spend more time with kid to build relationship. There’s unconditional love from parent to child, but it does not necessarily mean that kid loves parent back with unconditional love because ones are parents. Anyway, DH has been planting seeds on DS head that he may “die soon” because he is high risk to COVID to make DS loves & appreciates him now before it is too late to regret or remorse. DH is a manager, and it is too childish & immature for  him to do that. I told him to cut it out because DS has been talking about everyone in family ( including me & grandparents) will die before he turns 5. He does not really understand what death actually means, and I hate that DS  brings up death every day. I tell DS that I won’t die till he is an adult, and he tells me that he is not sad at all because he still would have me if DH dies. DH is a bit pissed off that DS does not care much that he may “ die soon”, and his plan of DS loving him more because he may die soon does not work. Anyways, what things can I do to help DH to grow up ( well, he is 40 & 6’ 2”, a manager) to be a good father & learn to build a healthy father-son relationship? I have been out of pictures from their weird father-son relationship situation, so should I leave them alone to figure out on their own?To me, they are both act childish & immature.  I think DH does not really understand how to naturally be a good father because of his family background. DH & DS get along most of the time, and it is just get DH would not naturally hang out or play with DS unless DS or I ask him to do so. As I say, DH enjoys doing his things on his free time than doing father son thing or family thing. He is on- demand.

Btw, I am working mom, and DS has been in daycare since he was 2. He does not love me more because I stay home with him the whole time, but I do spend time & make extra effort to take care, read books, play, chit-chat with him. He is an interesting, funny & silly little boy.[/quote]

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