Reply to A spinoff discussinon : Birth Control Responsibilty

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[quote=Anonymous]Because ultimately, children have a much larger impact on women's lives than on men's lives.

Prior to the pill, women were expected to marry, stay home, and have as many babies as possible. Having a child outside of marriage had devastating consequences for women, while a man could walk away with little problem. For married women, more children meant you had more responsibilities at home and couldn't work.

The Pill meant that women could have more rights, and women fought hard for birth control access so they could have more rights (in many states, it was illegal for women to take the pill until 1972). Men didn't have to fight for the right for a pill because they could still prioritize work or decide not to care for their children with little consequence. And of course, men aren't the ones who go through pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding.

Even today, there's still a greater impact on women. Women are the ones who usually give up or mommy track their career. I know dozens of fathers who have chosen to put their careers first and moved away from their kids. I've never known any mother who has done that. When my xH and I split, he freaked out that having 50/50 custody of our children would mean his career would be slowed for a few years (without ever realizing that I had done exactly that for several years).

So when you're the one who is giving up your body, career, and doing the bulk of the work, you're going to be a LOT more careful.

The only way men will start taking birth control more seriously is if they are held accountable. Which means NOT having sex with men who won't take responsibility, and holding fathers to the same standards as mothers when it comes to childcare.

I do see things changing. I know a ton of men who have gotten vasectomies, and the men I've dated recently always come prepared with condoms (compared to my 20s, when they would try to talk me into pull-out method). I'm on the pill, but my current partner made it clear that if I ever want to go off of it for health reasons, he'd happily take on the birth control burden. [/quote]

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