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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Is your nanny able to manage your 3 and 1 year old?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Nanny here. Most career nannies can handle both these ages BUT starting out with a 3yo is tough in general. They are programmed at that age to push boundaries. So being a new caregiver at that age you get a TON of pushback from them on everything because they don’t know what your boundaries are yet so they just fight you on wverything, all day, on principle. Combine that with the fact that sibling rivalry usually ramps up when the younger kid is age 1 because they are big enough to compete for the same types of toys and attention and the fact that we are in a global pandemic...I wouldn’t automatically assume nanny is doing a bad job. Now you do probably need to have a conversation. 3yos thrive on clear expectations and schedules and your kiddo has lost their normal routine being at school with teachers and friends, so I would sit down with nanny (have DH take the kids on a walk or something) and talk through setting up a clear schedule that includes an outing every day and work on setting some clear house rules and matching consequences so that the 3yo is getting consistent messages across all caregivers. When I have had kids these ages, there are really two options: 1) Pick one nap for the baby to happen in a car or stroller If the 1yo is good at falling asleep in the stroller then choose whichever nap is shorter (usually the am nap but not always) and have that one happen on a long walk to a park or something nearby. That gets everybody out of the house and they can walk back in time for the PM nap to happen in bed so the baby gets one long, restful, uninterrupted nap each day. 2) Decide naps are sacrosanct and parents arrange for older kid to go for a short walk or outing before morning nap. If you want both naps at home, in bed then you need to build into your routine getting the older kid out of the house for at least half an hour in the morning. Otherwise your 3yo will be wound up and antsy all morning and it will be even harder for nanny to get everybody out the door between naps. So e.g. If nanny works 8:30-5:30 and your kids get up at 7:30 and the baby goes back down for morning nap at 9:00... 7:30-8, get both kids up and dressed. 8-8:30, take a walk around the block with a bottle for the baby and a snack for the 3yo. 8:30 nanny feeds them breakfast for real and puts the baby down for a nap. 9-10 nanny and big kid do an art project or board game or play with choking hazards, the nanny also packs diaper bag with snacks, water, sunscreen etc. and preps lunch for when they get back. 10: the baby wakes up and gets a clean diaper and they head out immediately for an outing 12:30: get back from outing and have lunch then put the baby down for nap at 1 1-3 nanny and 3yo again play something that is hard to do with the baby. Ask nanny what they need. If you have a porch/yard then invest in a water table or wading pool so they can play outside for an hour. Also let your 3yo watch an episode (or two if she helps prep dinner) of tv during this time if he isn’t good at independent play so that the nanny gets a true break for a bit at least. 3–the baby wakes up and they have a snack then all play together a while 4:30 go for another short walk or play in the yard if you have one. When they get back have nanny do baths early so 3yo is able to play after dinner with mom and dad when there are more adults and the kids don’t have to share attention. After bath they play with toys until you come out and take over.[/quote]
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