Reply to Logistics of 3 kids 9y age gap

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have two children, with a 6yr age gap. The youngest is 2yo the oldest is 8yo. It’s been pretty smooth sailing. The oldest enjoys being a big sister, and the younger adores her big sister. I feel like we have avoided typical sibling rivalry so far because of the age gap. Thinking about a third and definitely final child. I worry about it becoming more of a burden on my oldest. That as someone who had all the benefits of being a singleton for the first 6yrs is she really going to be ok in the long run with two younger siblings to share attention with?

On the other hand, she’s older every day and off in her own world and friends and still actively asks for another sibling even when I try to talk with her about the amount of increased work it would be on her parents and so less time and attention for her.

I feel like it is much more common for families of three with a gap to have had two kids close together and then a “bonus” kid 4-5 years later...[/quote]

I have three kids (now 14, 18, and 22). They were each 4 grades apart so they were never in high school or middle school together. I'm glad for that because they got to have their own identities. They never were in the same friend groups obviously, and I suspect there would've been drama if they were. I know people with kids who are in the same grade or one grade apart in which one sibling didn't get invited to the same things as the other sibling, which fostered resentment. Because of the age gap, my kids never had to compete with each other for a spot on a sports team. Middle kid went to different high school than the other two so no "you're XYZ's sibling! She was amazing!". The younger two learned from the oldest's mistakes. [/quote]

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