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[quote=Anonymous]I have four.  To give you an idea of their spacing, at one point they were 12, 9, 3, newborn.

The 12 yr old has never felt like having three little sisters is a burden.  When the 3 yr old was born we hired a nanny for 2-7pm.  I wanted the after-school/evening hours with my older kids.  I could spend the mornings with the babies.  The nanny did all the kids laundry, and would prep dinner, sometimes drive the older kids around after school but mostly stay with the babies while I did that.

We pushed the narrative that your siblings are your best friends for life.  When 12 went off to college, he was so excited when he found out there was a Siblings Weekend, and begged for the two middle girls to come stay with him for it.  The little kids loved that sometimes after school they would all FaceTime the older one, and they'd all do homework "together".  My oldest is now 27, and they are still close, and I am still impressed with how they consistently reach out to each other and maintain their relationships. When two get in a fight, the other two are always right there to say "She is your BEST FRIEND! Find a way to work it out."

Two things:
1.  The little ones were never the responsibility of the older ones unless the older ones wanted it. If I asked the older ones to babysit, it was paid babysitting, and they were allowed to say no.
2.  Despite pushing them to be best friends, when the little ones were little and in their destructive stage, I made very sure to let the older ones have time with their friends without the little ones annoying them. I'd bring the babies over to say hi and be cute and get to be fawned over by the big kids, and then I'd take them away.  [/quote]

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