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[quote=Anonymous]BTDT with my MIL who was dying of ALS. She refused all care providers, wouldn't let them in the door.  We would have had to go to court to have her deemed mentally unfit in order to get her help (aids, etc) but we didn't want to do that. She refused to move in with us. She was an only child, so no siblings. My SIL didn't have a great relationship with her so it was left to my DH to take care of her.  She would only let him in the house.  He basically moved in with her, and she lives an ocean away.

It was absolute hell for our family and our marriage. I had a very good relationship with my MIL before she got ill, and I was even the one who first noticed her symptoms and insisted that she had something way more serious than vertigo, etc. My husband basically missed 3 years of our children's lives, our marriage was in the shitter, and I had huge resentment. He left me holding the bag for 100% of our child rearing, house management, everything.  we had the money to move her into a facility.  We had the money to bring in aids.  We offered to have her live her last years in our house.  But no, she said she wants to live just in her house, in her country, with her son taking care of her.  It was not sustainable.

I hated the fact that my MIL got ALS. It is an awful disease, she had so much more life to live.  We miss her terribly.  But when it was all over we almost got a divorce.  The stress, the resentment and the toll it takes on the family unit sometimes cannot be rebuilt.  It took years for my children to get their relationship back with their father.

Good luck OP, I am very sorry you are in this position.[/quote]

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