Reply to WWYD (stand your ground or give in but stay on good terms)?

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Reply to "WWYD (stand your ground or give in but stay on good terms)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I will try to keep it short.
My spouse and I came to this country through his job. My green card was dependent on his. 
While we were waiting for our green cards, we would often fight and eventually relationship soured to the point of separation. He was often mean to me; I was caring for a small child and was not authorized to work so it all created an unhealthy dynamic. However he never did anything super bad, for example, he could have divorced me long ago, and I would have had to go back to our native country. After we got our green cards and separated he mellowed out significantly. He always paid child support though we never had any official orders. It is under the guidelines but is sufficient to cover the rent for me and child. I have a job now, but I didn’t work for a long time due to visa restrictions.
We are now officially divorcing. He is asking me (or rather, demanding) that we make an agreement which only states about half of what he is currently paying me, and will pay the rest under the table, so to speak. This will also be significantly below the guidelines for child and spousal. He also does not want to share his 401k and equity he acquired while working here (in his mind, this is his money). 
He is also the type of person who cannot stand anything he perceives as pressure. 
If I start fighting him, our fairly amicable relationship will be ruined. 
If I agree to what he suggests, I will still be able to revisit the agreement and ask the court for new orders, if he tries not to pay (in terms of child support and maybe even spousal). I will give up the rights to redivision of the common property but it is not a lot, maybe tens of thousands.
However, I have a good chance of staying on amicable terms with him, and he will most likely keep paying and if need be he will help me out with college costs for the child, health insurance and such.

I guess what I am trying to ask is... am I making a terrible mistake thinking that I can swing it without fighting too much? He is always responsive to gratitude, he wants to be seen as a generous dad and person, so what if I play this card instead of fighting tooth and nail for everything? Again, I WILL have some leverage over how much he is paying in case he walks back on his promise to pay more than is stated in the agreement.
Honestly, I don’t want to fight, I am tired, I am finally free to be gainfully employed and I want to turn this page and live my life. He doesn’t spite me with custody and such so I don’t want to open that can of worms.  
Appreciate any and all thoughts!

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