Reply to Argument style: YOU should apologize

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Argument style: YOU should apologize"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My husband sometimes acts like this. I call it scorched earth. He knows he's wrong, can't help himself, and goes into what-have-I-got-to-lose mode. Depending on my energy level, I either respond by making fun of him, which he hates, or if I'm really angry, by yelling back, and since I have more willpower and patience, I have the satisfaction of having the last word (which isn't important), and not feel abused (which is important).

If my husband were an otherwise kind and sensitive person, I wouldn't do this. He's been diagnosed with ADHD which he refuses to treat, and has some symptoms of Asperger's. Years of marriage have shown me that he's self-centered, has no empathy, and can go into fits of totally irrational rage, some of which he's directed at the kids. It's actually at those times that I yell back, because I don't want them to feel undefended. I even got him to apologize to our teen son last time, who he'd browbeaten into tears. 
[/quote]

That sounds like hell, for your entire household. FFS, WHY are you still married to him? You may have willpower and patience, but this is going to do a number on your kids, growing up constantly walking on eggshells and landlines.[/quote]

I am in a similar hellish situation and until The family court systems address the parenting, communication, and executive functioning deficients of those ADHD and high functioning autism, particularly of men who stay in denial and escalate their symptoms versus women who try to manage them, you stay to protect your kids and give them similar lives as normal families. The deficits are real and constantly felt.

I cannot imagine coparenting with someone with this disability being any good for me or the kids. I assume I would continue to do 99% of everything and he would do play time, field trips, pizza out and Tv time. And continue to never read any email from school, teachers, coaches, kids’ friends or remember any sort of routine, needs, or responsibilities of each child.

We basically just leave him alone and ignore him, same as he does to us. Ironically it’s the same way he once said his family behaved towards his father. And how happy he was once he moved away to college. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics