Reply to WWYD: Grandparents Unhappy in Assisted Living and Want to Move Home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If dementia is involved, you say, “you can’t move right now.  You house needs to be refinished or whatever. You can move during the pandemic. “. Keep stalling.  Eventually, the dementia will get to a point where they will stop asking.  Don’t say outright “no”, just punt it down the road.  [/quote]

This is good.  "No" still means something to them because its simple.  They won't be able to refute more deft ways of saying no like "Let's change the subject" or "Let's talk about something else."  We did this all the time with my dad and it worked because they can't do all the thinking behind the actual words.  [/quote]

[b]This is really the best advise. Stall it.
[/b]
Understand that legally the couple can move out and get their own apartment. Seen that.  A neighbor had parents that he had living in an apartment. At age 95 and 100 he
moved them into assisted living. At 6 months in the couple complained to the son that they hated it. They hated the food.  They were retired dairy farmers and ate everything
fried and the food was too healthy and not enough butter, cream and full fat dairy.

Anyways, one of the couple called an apartment complex and rented a unti and they moved out of assisted living and back into an apartment at age 96 and 101. It was horrible on the son because one of them was legally blind and they could not clean etc.

Legally they can't be stopped from moving.

Tell your Mom to do the stall techniques.

THings should get better as covid restrictions are lifted and activities kick in.

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