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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. My family can drive to the event. We do not have to fly. But others will be there who will fly.[/quote]

I'd try to do it all in one day, especially since you can drive (long day, but you say it's possible). If it's an outdoor ceremony, and people are careful to space out, don't hug, etc., this scenario wouldn't be terribly risky. Wear a mask, so everyone knows you're one of those "paranoid" people, and will hopefully keep their distance, even if it's only out of irritation.

But I wouldn't stay in a household full of people coming from all over the country, especially if they're flying. Unless you know for sure they're from places that are still under stay-at-home orders and are following them fairly sensibly, you don't know what they're bringing—or what you'd be bringing home. There are states that still have 14-day quarantine orders inmplace (Maine, Delaware) for people coming out of state, so it's clear that not everyone is in agreement that non-essential interstate travel is OK at this stage.

Otherwise, I'd send your husband to do any events he's comfortable with on his own, but write a nice, heartfelt remembrance of your father-in-law that he can read on your behalf. You might even record a video of the kids sharing a sweet memory of grandpa that could be played at one of the more casual gatherings. You can express your condolences and show support for the family without actually being present.

Honestly, though, this all seems kind of over-the-top right now, considering that one of the largest early outbreaks in Chicago centered around a funeral gathering. If all else fails, you could always fake a cough and stay home with the kids. Later, you can explain that it must have just been allergies, but you can't be too careful, right?[/quote]

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