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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Elementary -- sweet, VERY into dolls; later on lots of reading esp Babysitters Club, Boxcar Children (I think?). Always liked sports but never really played which was more our fault -- non sporty immigrant family who acted like we didn't have time for it; we came from a country where organized sports just weren't a thing so I think we didn't understand why parents were spending all day Saturday on a soccer field when a very small % of kids will be soccer professionals. She still liked sports though -- played pick up games; lots of bike riding in the neighborhood. Got good grades (as much as there are grades in elementary) but never really focused on academics -- loved the social aspects of school more.

Then in 6-7th grades she discovered COMPETITION -- as in I MUST get straight As and be the top of the class. We always expected As and Bs but never pushed re academics, never scolded for a B -- this was self driven. She did well in middle school but not quite the TOP of the class -- maybe more like the top 10 kids in the 8th grade class. Not being middle school val (yes there was such a thing at her school) fueled that fire all thru high school where the ranking obsession continued. Still didn't graduate #1 (was #2 actually) but did hit her goal of an ivy.

As a college kid/young adult it switched from grades to money. So ivy, JD, MBA, biglaw etc. and MANY convos are about net worth, her market investments; to be fair she has a very deep knowledge of the markets/finance.

Honestly IDK how the sweet little girl with the tea set morphed into an adult who can tell you the 200 day moving avg of the market off the top of her head (and she doesn't work in finance -- she's a lawyer - but $$ is what she thinks about). She claims she's happy but I do wonder and worry sometimes.[/quote]

My dd is similar! Also, her school had middle school ranking. They named Valedictorian, Salutatorian, and the rest of the top 5. There was a special science club for the top 20 kids, and dd didn’t get in. Years later when she was checking her hs rank she found out it was because she was 21st :roll: [/quote]

PP here -- we were all about buying a house in a "top" district (in NJ) as we thought it'd get kids a good education, a shot at a good college/career. We didn't expect it had to be straight As in every AP class straight into an ivy. Part of me wonders if a different school that was merely "good" and not so competitive as to be ranking middle schoolers would have been the way to go for some life balance. Our elementary school (and I think middle) had various "gifted" programs and science clubs that took the "top" kids in ELEMENTARY!? DD never made the cut for those. I never thought it bothered her because as a recent immigrant fam, IDK if she even noticed plus she was trying to get her bearings in a new country, trying to make friends, trying to just figure out American slang/mannerisms etc. And in elementary she never acted like those groups ever mattered to her. By middle school though by the time she had "figured out" the game, I think she could not stand to lose.

And to the above poster -- she is financially successful, so at least as parents we don't worry about that. Hell she could probably "retire" now if she wanted to -- quit law and just pick up a regular job or be a house flipper/investor or bum around for 5 years whatever. I think we worry about her happiness. I'm not sure that this never ending race for more money is actually fulfilling to her, esp. since she doesn't live a particularly large or fancy life. It'd be different if she were working to make $$$ and then jetting off to vacations in Monaco or buying a new Rolex or jewelry or putting down a $2 mil house. The only thing she talks about wanting is a beach house and we def encourage it bc I think one should do SOMETHING to make themselves happy in life.[/quote]

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