Reply to Blended Family - What to do about bedrooms

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this fits best here, as my concern is about helping Fiance's kids feel like part of the family.

I am a widow with 1 child. Fiance is divorced with 2 children; one who lives locally and he has on Tues/Thurs/Alt weekends and another who he has for school breaks and 6 weeks of each summer. I recently bought a house that we are in the process of moving into. We have 3 bedrooms and a bonus room, with the 3rd bedroom currently not together.

I proposed:
Bedroom 1 - Master
Bedroom 2 - My child (lives with us full time as there is no other parent). Age 3.
Bedroom 3 - Shared between Fiance's 2 girls. Basically gives the local child her own room 75% of the year. Ages 7 and 11.
Bonus Room - Hang out spot for the kids

I want to give the kids the freedom to make the rooms their own and feel like they have a space that is theirs. We do have guests occasionally, but not typically when we have all 3 kids, so I could have my kid move into the shared room for those nights to create a guest room for a few days.

Fiance says his kids don't need their own rooms and we can make that bedroom a guest room that they stay in. My concern is that it sends the message that they don't belong. I don't want them feeling like they have to hide their things away and leave the room perfectly cleaned up between their days with us. I definitely don't want them looking at my kid's room and thinking their father and I care more about that kid than them. Fiance is one of those selfless people who sort of minimizes his needs, and I'm afraid he's trying to minimize his kid's needs. He grew up poor with a family of 8 living in 2-3 bedrooms and never had space of his own or even his own bed. I'm just trying to give all of our kids a place to call their own and make sure they feel like equal parts of this family.

Should I go ahead and order furniture to create a kid room (2 twin beds) or set it up as a standard guest room (queen bed)? Any words of wisdom from those who have succeeded in creating a blended family where everyone feels included?[/quote]

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