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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm practically in the same boat, but I blocked my MIL because I don't need to hear her crap.

Also, my cheating narcissist has a bday this week. So, you know, we should all be kissing the ground he walks on all this week and last. [/quote]

Why do you ladies stay? I don’t understand how you can stay.  Is it you are afraid of being on your own? Lack confidence? I truly do not get it.[/quote]

OP here. It took me a while to confirm my suspicions that he was cheating. Then, because he kisses and tells me he loves me, I naively assumed he'd confess, show remorse and we  could work on it.

Also, I do not have a well paid job so I AM afraid of making it on my own. Thankfully we do not have children.[/quote]

Please, please, please get a tele-consult with a divorce attorney right now.  You are making assumptions about alimony and your obligations under quarantine that are just not true.  You need real advice from a lawyer who can help you plan your exit.  The attorney should be able to advise you on what documents you should preserve while you are in the house (savings, retirement, mortgage, etc.) Attorney will also advise you on joint accounts and what $$ you can take out of them when.

In the DMV courts are generally closed, so your attorney will also have to advise you on timeline - when can you file for divorce? is court open for emergency filing? Attorney can help you back plan from likely filing date about how to leave house in a way that preserves your leverage in split.

If you are going to stay in the house any length of time, simply stop engaging him.  Do not confront him about the infidelity any more. You know all you need to know from the evidence that made you confront him and his response to that.  It is not your job to convince him to confess, rationalize for him or convince why and how the relationship is worth saving, how you two could recover, etc.  Again, his response tells you all you need to know - this relationship is not healthy and needs to end. As long as you are in the house with him, grey rock him.  (google grey rocking)

See if you can get a therapist for yourself. You need someone who can help you withstand the emotional abuse and recover from it when you leave.

All this said, if it feels emotionally or physically unsafe leave immediately.  Your health and safety are most important.

I have been where you are now (but with two kids).  Life gets better when you leave your abuser. [/quote]

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