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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I live in NYC with our two kids, a preschooler and a newborn.  My elderly ILs live in VA.  They run a small grocery store (frequent contact with customers, touching cash) and refuse to stop working.  Not for financial reasons, but because they have no life outside of work and don't know what to do if they're not working.

DH is understandably very upset about this, but he wants them to move in with us for oh A MONTH OR TWO to prevent them from working.  They are open to this  :shock:  Like most people, I have many reasons for not wanting this living situation, the biggest being that we live in a 1500 sf apartment and whatever issues we have with each other will get magnified to eruption point sheltering in a small space for such a long time, not to mention I will be extremely unhappy and stressed with the situation.

I would be fine with paying for an apartment sublet near us or in NJ for a couple months.  But ILs (who are cheap) would refuse and also be offended that we weren't inviting them to live with us.  I thought about and decided against moving our family in with them in VA, in part, to stop them from working, but life with a newborn is tough enough without having to stay in someone else's home and with hosts who barely give a rat's a** about you.

DH knows how I feel and is angry about it.  If the roles were reversed, he would suck up living with my parents for two months if need be and he's pissed that I am not willing to do the same.  I would agree to this if it were the only choice, but am not because his parents are refusing the much better choice, i.e., Stop Working!!!

But regardless of who is in the wrong or right, neither of us wants his parents to die, and if they die because they kept working, DH will blame me for the rest of our lives.  This is not something I can live with unless we get a divorce (which is not ideal).

P.S.  DH is not a reasonable guy.  He thinks about things very differently from most people and the fact that he is an outlier in opinion does not make him think any less that he is right.  I will not get out of this situation by reasoning with him, only by getting his parents out of harm's way.

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