Reply to If your parents divorced when you were an adult, was it traumatizing? and if so why?

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Reply to "If your parents divorced when you were an adult, was it traumatizing? and if so why?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've heard people say its almost as painful when your parents divorce as an adult as when it happens to a kid.  Is that really the case?  I see how it'd be logistically a PITA to have places to visit / make time for and of course if its unilateral its awful to watch a parent suffer.  But if my parents sat me down at 26 and said "We had the shared goal of raising you in a loving family and that brought us together for many happy years, but not that its just the two of us, we've realized we have different ways we want to spend the next several decades of our lives, so we're going to do that separately"...i just wouldn't see being that upset[/quote]

I don’t think divorce after many decades goes as smoothly as it does in your theoretical scenario, nor do parents jointly and lovingly craft the message in the way you’re describing.

The “gray” divorces I’ve seen, anecdotally of course, have included things like financial ruin for one or both parties, untreated mental illness coming home to roost, substance abuse or regular abuse by one member of the couple that the other partner could no longer take, adult children being expected to take sides, infidelity, the list goes on...
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