Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have never cheated but I understand why some people do.  For me, that understanding came when my DH had been in a major depressive episode for nearly 2 years.  We had three young children, two with special needs and 3-5 therapy appointments with them a week.  DH had a toxic job situation and we had agreed he should quit and take a 6 month break.  During that break, he was supposed to be a SAD, taking kids to therapies and managing the household.  He did none of that.  His depression medication was no longer effective and he refused all efforts to get him to his doctor to have it adjusted.  I, literally, ended up doing everything while WFT.  He couldn't be counted on to do anything and, worse, I had to run interference between him and our kids.

This period was exhausting and soul crushing situation.  My physical and mental health were suffering.  I was beat down, at the end of my emotional rope and craving love.  It was at that point that I knew if the right guy came along and offered me sympathy, support and understanding, I could see myself having an affair.  Shortly afterwards, I was diagnosed with depression (I thought I was peri-menopausal but the OB/GYN said depression).  I had 'caught' it from DH and ended up on an SSRI myself.  The SSRI really helped and I was on it for over a year.

As I said earlier, I did not have an affair.  Had I had one, I would have been wrong to do so. But, I understand why some people may fall into one and, as I have gotten older, I am less likely to make blanket judgments.

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