Reply to Need Advice: Setting Boundaries with Mother as an Adult

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op: first of all ... you do not need to explain anything to her.  Explaining just turns it into a conversation with back and forth, and escalating drama. Op, what if she weren't your Mother? It's hard but try to imagine that. Imagine she's a friend. If you wouldn't put up with some of the behavior from a friend, you don't have to put up with the behavior from your Mother. "I'm sorry that's not convenient for us" .. "I'm sorry, I didn't come to the door because it wasn't a good time for us" ... "I'm sorry you feel that way. I see it differently"[/quote]

She's put me in the position of mediating between her and my husband. I don't think she realizes that I agree with him and that I'm horrified she would imply that I am danger because she doesn't get the level of respect she wants. DH for his part is aware of his faults - - he tries to be civil but he point was that she can't transgress then turn around and complain he was rude when she doesn't respond to polite requests. [/quote]

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