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[quote=Anonymous]I’m in a very serious, long term (4yr) relationship with a divorced dad. I’m a divorced mom. We both were very careful about leaving the children out of it for two years. Then we very slowly introduced each other to the kids—never mixing our kids yet.  My boyfriend has two teenage kids and a 12yr old. The sons (18yr old and 12yr old) have been fine about me.  The 12yr is very loving and the 18yr has a “I don’t care” attitude that’s very unhostile.  The issue is that the 16yr daughter is hostile and very upset. If I come around (which is not frequently), she rushes to her room, barely can say hello etc.  Her dad has tried everything. I’ve even met with her mom who also has tried to get through to her that I’m not here to replace her actual parents, step on her toes etc. Her mom has even had that conversation with her many times (in case there was loyalty issues).

What else can we do? I hate that she’s this uncomfortable about my presence and i do everything to stay out of the way in “Custody” time but she roams freely between her two homes and if I happen to stop by,  she’ll run off.  She declines all outings to neutral places.

Any advice with this? I just don’t know how to move this relationship forward when there is still a child suffering because of the circumstances. Do we back off until college?  What changes then?  Isn’t it more of the same?[/quote]

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