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[quote=Anonymous]Married 10 years. Struggling with setting firm boundaries and appropriate boundaries with spouse, and could use some advice and suggestions. Spouse has pattern of disrespectful behavior. For example, interrupting talking over me when I talk. Even if I say, I need you to wait until I'm finished talking to start, he will not respect this and continues to interrupt. Yelling and raising his voice. I've told him multiple times I need this to stop.

Obviously, the recent stresses have placed him in fight or flight mode. He has struggled with anxiety and depression in the past. In these moods, rather than choose constructive behaviors or approach with creative solutions, he digs into the negativity and blame. Blows up over nothing. Does not initiate communication to resolve, rejects repair attempts. I often feel I am walking on eggshells. I can extend empathy but not get it back. The level of emotional support and regulation that I can expect from him is extremely low.

He is not physically violent although on a few occasions he has pushed me. He can do things that scare me with the children, such as pick them up or snatch things away in a rage. These rages make me afraid to do or say things that will set him off/ make things worse.

I am moving towards separation, as the past two weeks have given me some clarity that continuing down this path is not healthy for me or my children. But given the pandemic I expect a few months minimum delay. In the meantime, I need to get better at setting stronger boundaries. I do not have a good example of this as my mother was abused by my father. I need concrete suggestions, things you say, consequences you set, etc.

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