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[quote=Anonymous]Cliffs: I have increasing physical and mental issues.  Mental issues are due to stress, finances, and are related to my physical issues (cognitive problems resulting from an illness years ago), and now my relationship and the unreality of it all.  I am an utter failure.

Second wife.  She has kids who either live with us or I support.  No other overt support, some local-ish family.  She loves me, is committed to me, and cares for me (no question about any of these) - but I think she's bipolar, maybe NPD, and who knows what else.  She doesn't work.  Wants to do work from home stuff.  Wants me to participate and eventually transition to it.  It's pure fantasy.  Think low-ish income type of stuff.  I am the sole breadwinner.

Between credit cars and cars I have $150k in debt.  Upside down on cars.  Student loans, shared with ex, I pay 2/3 or so.

Child support.

GIANT tax debt.  Like ENORMOUS.  Like I'll NEVER be able to pay it.

Salary dropped 50% since 2018.  No savings.  Modest 401k.  I'll be working until I die, which probably won't be too long. I have no health insurance.

My physical and mental health is breaking and I am probably not going to be paid soon due to coronavirus fallout in my industry.  I am the least capable/able to perform at my business.  I think one or two colleagues probably are suspicious of my circumstances.  All coworkers will have funds on hand to weather this, while I literally live paycheck to paycheck.  No cushion at all.  I'm also terrified of getting coronavirus because in my state it could kill/disable me.

We fight all the time about money, about how serious the debt is, about how to manage it, etc.  She's glib, to put it lightly.  Tells me God will provide, etc.

We are both Christian.  I take my vows very seriously.  If I left they would have nothing.  But I feel like I am losing my grip on reality.  The debt is absolutely unmanageable and she berates me for worrying so much about it.

We're on totally different planets financially.  I'm coming to pieces over my responsibility as the head of the house, my vows, and the impending financial tsunami that could (or more likely will) leave us all homeless.  I'm losing my mind.  Please help.  If I left I'd either be homeless, renting a room, or moving in with very elderly parents.  [/quote]

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