Reply to Has anyone had additional children specifically because their spouse wasn’t around much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m married to a workaholic - should have had better judgement, blah blah, but here we are.  Im considering a 3rd partially because I want that buzzing home life with lively family dinners and loud playing in the backyard.  As adults I want lots of kids to visit (but not too much - hence needing several!) and to visit me to keep family ties.

If dh was more engaged I could see being done now so we could all 4 vacation more easily and move on with older kid fun. But he’s not, which is part of the reason I’m considering a 3rd.  He’d love a 3rd (who wouldn’t if it was no more work for them) and I’ve made peace with my marriage and won’t resent him with my workload increasing without his doing the same.

I think it’s odd though to be aware that if my dh was more around, I had someone to hang out with after kids were in bed on weeknights, a family dinner at night now etc, I’d be uninterested in a 3rd.

Just wondering if anyone else has decided to have an additional kid for this reason.  And please now “why would you subject a kid to that kind of dad” response. He’s loving but distant, basically like all dads throughout history until recently and my kids are secure and happy and have a much better home life than either of us grew up with[/quote]

Lady you are so warped it's sad
 No not all daw are loving but distant. WTF? 
Also why aren't you doing all those fun things now? Is it because your kids are older and have started getting lives of their own and now you want dependent baby again so you don't have to deal with the shortcomings in your marriage?

Let's say you do get pregnant would you be okay with twins? Would you be okay with a child with medical issues that put a strain on the household, your other kids?

And since you mentioned it there's no guarantee your kids will want to visit you when older or let their children visit you, if they decide to have kids. People with dysfunctional upbringings aren't always willing to participate in the dysfunction when their older.[/quote]

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