Reply to I'm Drowning Here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No we did not live together before marriage and I did not know these things.  He had a very sparsely furnished apartment and just worked a lot.  He spent a lot of time at my place but never observed him being messy.  This is, however, one of the reasons I recommend living with someone before you get married. We dated for a year and then got married 6 months later - mid/late thirties.[/quote]

I had a feeling.  My heart goes out to you but I concur, I think everyone should live together before committing to marriage.

I would suggest you get into couples counseling so you can express these things that bother you, perhaps get some advice from the counselor as to how to deal with it and hopefully advice for him as to how to mitigate some of these issues, assuming he is ready to try to do that.  I think it would be helpful to you to be able to verbalize your complaints to a third party, at least to clarify it all in your own mind, but also to make it clear to him how close you are to the end of your rope.  With such young kids I assume you want to try whatever might work before you give up.[/quote]

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