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[quote=Anonymous]What's the financial situation? And the vacation time from work situation? I mean, if you have a lot of $$ and a flexible job w/ lots of leave time, I'd say you could visit each set of grandparents twice per year and feel no guilt. If money is tighter and/or you don't get a lot of paid leave, make that once per year or every other year. This is assuming the grandparents all remain healthy and able to come travel to see you quarterly. If they get to a point where they can't come to you, then it gets trickier to avoid traveling to see them...

My family and my in laws also live far away and we also have 2 kids, ages 5 and 3. We visit each set of grandparents once per year or *maybe* twice if there are special circumstances (ex: milestone birthday, family wedding, meeting sibling's new baby are all recent examples). Both sets of grandparents also visit us about quarterly. My parents have complained that we don't visit them enough and they definitely get jealous if they perceive we visit my in-laws more. My in laws have never actually expressed any disappointment about the frequency of our visits but I'd be willing to bet they feel the same disappointment and just don't feel comfortable telling us about that (thankfully). But we have learned to just try to ignore that and carry on with what works best for us. Traveling with young kids is a lot more difficult for us than them traveling to us (a) and they are retired and have more money than we do (b) and we still see them often enough in my opinion (c). If/when they reach a point where they are not able to travel as often and/or once our kids are older and easier to travel with, we will probably start going there more often.
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