Reply to Divorcing, but would like to get my soon to be ex some help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really hope you don't have kids.[/quote]

We have one child. That’s part of the reason why I want to help, for my child’s sake.[/quote]

For your child’s sake, talk early and often about the dangers of drinking and alcoholism, without judgment.  When they are in late ES, share that there is a family history of alcoholism and that there is no way to predict whether drinking will be a problem for them too when they grow up. For that readon, they should try not to drink until their mid-20s, and they should make it a lifelong havit to be a very light drinker.

You can’t make your STBX stop drinking. You can’t make him be a good dad.  Get as much custody as you can and be very flexible and uncritical when your STBX cancels visitation or his custody days. My ex was a problem drinker. He could hold himself together for an hour or two a day, but not for an entire weekend. I took what he could give without complaining even though I know the kids were heartbroken sometimes. Over time I ended up with full physical custody with regular visitation for him. [/quote]

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