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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Feeling hopeless about my marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reading your post made me feel like you changed the rules. Also, the whole thing about division of responsibilities is such a red herring. Maybe it’s uneven. Maybe you are missing things he does. Maybe your perception of a contribution differs from his. [/quote] I’m sure I miss things he does or don’t put as much value on the things he does do. This is apparently a classic pattern in an ADHD/non-ADHD marriage. Assuming that’s at least part of underlying this, he sees all his “chore” contributions as the same value and doesn’t arrange them into a hierarchy. I see doing things with the kids more valuable than taking our the garbage, for instance. (He does neither of those things even close to routinely, for the record.) Regardless, it is not a “red herring” as they are real feelings and perceptions in the relationship. This is why I want/ed us to explore this more with someone with experience. [/quote]
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