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[quote=Anonymous]This reminds me of my male friend’s ex wife. She could NOT accept her own feelings or ever analyze where they actually came from. About 70% of the time, they were deep seated issues from her own childhood or had nothing to do with my friend... but all she knew is that she felt bad, therefore someone must have just caused her to feel bad with some overt action— probably my friend.

The other 30% of the time (IMO) my friend really was partly or, more rarely, completely at fault in some way... but since she couldn’t delve very deeply into causes, effects, emotions, subtexts... she’d make some wildly off base accusation about his behavior and motivations. And he’d somewhat understandably shut down, even though she was right in those cases that he was contributing to the problem... because her assessment of the cause and the way she painted the scenario was just wacky.

She’d have to create a dire, extreme, nonsensical scenario just to feel like her feelings were valid. Feelings are feelings! If she felt sad, maybe that’s nobody’s fault, but she still felt sad, and that’s valid! Or maybe in some case, it was partly because my friend inadvertently made a joke that was hurtful and insensitive! Also valid! But she’d say that didn’t bother her at all, and the actual issue was that he clearly he never loved her and only married her for her money (provably false). ???? Just couldn’t understand how emotions worked at all. Literally said she did not believe in the subconscious and if he had a dream about another woman, that was cheating.

Anyway.[/quote]

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