Reply to My spouse doesn’t desire to understand me.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could have written this post, OP. I have felt this way about DH often and especially recently. He has historically taken little interest in my goings-on and feelings, and its worse in recent months. I am trying to pursue couples therapy with him but multiple times he has expressed that we don't need it (which feels like another minimization of my feelings so there you go). Have you tried or ever even discussed therapy?[/quote]

OP here. I'm sorry you're going through this as well. We have discussed therapy, but have never gotten anywhere. I can take blame for that...I haven't taken the steps to get it set up. But, in my mind, I'm like, why am I always the one who has to take the leap? Why am I always the one who's trying to fix the wrong? Why am I always the one crying and upset? Meanwhile my husband just sits back and lives his life like it's all good. It hurts that he won't take the initiative himself to get us started in therapy, but, I know it's immature of me to think this way. I think I will finally take the step and stop making excuses. [/quote]
I understand this feeling. I finally got DH to agree to "consider" therapy if I went and did the work of finding out the details and cost. I had to keep pressing to get to that point and I do wonder if he just wanted me to stop bothering him. But, that was more than I had gotten out of him before so I am willing to get that information. Then the ball will be in his court and how he handles it will really give me a sense of whether he's committed to seeing this marriage work and us to stay together.

I think its normal to feel annoyed/frustrated that this too has become your burden to initiate, but if you don't its clear it wont happen. Keep trying to remember that this is bigger than that for now and that your legwork and his response could provide you a lot of information to make your next decisions.[/quote]

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