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[quote=Anonymous]I’m coming to a revelation that my DH just doesn’t have the desire to understand my thoughts, feelings, and emotional needs. Every time I try to express how I feel about something, he dismisses it, minimizes it, and says things like “that’s not true” or “you’re making it up” OR, he turns the conversation and starts making it about something else he thinks I’ve done wrong. He complains that just because I say something, doesn’t mean that it’s true, but the part he’s missing is that I’m not asking him to agree with me and I’m not asking him to say I’m right. I’m asking him to listen, understand my feelings/how I interpreted the action, and address it from there. A response could be as simple as “I’m sorry you felt that I was being disrespectful. That wasn’t my intention”. He also spends a lot of time saying whatever my issue is isn’t important to him, but I’ve also learned that we each find different things important. When I know something is important to him, even if I don’t care about it, I still prioritize it because I know it matters to him.

I want to add that I don’t nag. I don’t bring up issues very often. I ignore a lot and put off a lot, but when I do finally bring it up, he says I’m making it up and just trying to find something to say. But, if I bring it up more immediately, he also complains about that. It’s like no matter how I approach it, it’s the same outcome.

Overall, I just feel like I’m not heard, listened to, or valued. Sure, I am more emotional than my DH, but should we not love each other enough to not want each other to be hurting? Posting because maybe I am asking too much, and maybe I need to hear from outsiders that I am wrong. [/quote]

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