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[quote=Anonymous]You know, my husband felt this way too, even as we had discussed finances and shared credit reports etc before marriage. We had a real come to jesus moment early in our marriage (I'm talking a few months in) where I expressed to him that as a WE any financial decisions HE made impacted ME and vice versa so we needed to be transparent.

What sparked this conversation is that through reasons beyond his control his income had decreased. I knew this but also saw him hustling to fill the gaps until things got sorted out not realizing he had just decided not to pay a credit card for a few months. We had decided to live off his income and my "job" was to focus on building savings with my salary, so I had like $30K in the bank. He felt like "asking" me for that money was somehow indicating he was a failure. I told him that the savings was for moments exactly like this! What good was it for the credit card not to get paid trashing his credit, but have thousands of dollars in the bank? He had been married previously and had to carry all the financial burden and that baggage was still with him. I think in that moment it "clicked" that he didn't have to do it all by himself anymore. We got Mint where we could track expenses/income/debt and that wasn't a problem again. [/quote]

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