Reply to Why are grandparents and older relatives so needy now?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this is a huge generalization.

My ILs are in their late 70s, has 6 kids (over 15yrs so a decent age gap- my DH is the youngest) and are extremely demanding and highly intrusive. DH and I have been together for nearly 20yrs (married for 15) and it isn’t new behavior in their old age- they have always been this way. They’ve always expected everyone at their house for all holidays, everyone to live nearby, very particular expectations about their kids’ careers, families, values etc etc. When their expectations aren’t met (and they rarely are)- tantrums and drama.

My parents are in their early 60s- had three kids going, with a close age gap. They aren’t demanding at all. They still work, , have  hobbies, friends etc. and love seeing us but they really have their own lives and things to do also.

I actually think that in my ILs case, they had all those kids and were actively parenting for so long that they never developed hobbies, friends, or other things to do- so they are extremely wrapped up in their kids and grandkids. My parents were done with the “little kid” years but their early 30s and we were all out of the house  by the time they were 45. They’ve had a lot more time to focus on other things. [/quote]

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