Reply to Does joint custody work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can give the perspective of someone who grew up in a joint custody situation.  It was awful.  My brother and I were split 50/50 from ages 7 and 9 through high school.  Two nights at mom's house, two nights at dad's every single week.  We were always living in suitcases, never able to settle and be comfortable in one place for any length of time.  I distinctly remember waking up, unsure of which home/bed I was in and trying to readjust  every day.  My parents worked reasonably well together and did not badmouth or undermine each other but the whole arrangement was ridiculous.  Who would want to live like that, as a constant traveller?  I honestly can't understand why people think this is acceptable for kids.  Children do need to have relationships with both parents but they also need to have a stable home with one bedroom and one set of clothes/toys.  I know that there are no really good answers when there is a divorce but 50/50 custody is definitely not a good, healthy compromise.  I don't even want to go into all of the negative effects this had on my adult life.  They are too bizarre to even explain here but it was not good for many years.  I am finally at a point where I know how to live in one house and in a relationship with one person, but it took a loooong time to get there.  And I constantly feel restless and uncomfortable.[/quote]

Thanks for sharing this. I am very sorry about your experience. I can't imagine myself going back and forth the same way I would expect of my DD to, if I agree to joint custody. You are right, there is no really good answer that's a win for everyone. And what I am realizing now is that I need to start making decisions that I believe are the best for DD and not think about what would be better for my ex. I really appreciated your input.[/quote]

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