Reply to how to get past silent treatment from my 11 year old

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[quote=Anonymous]Currently my 11 year old isn't speaking to me.   Please try to be helpful here, this is upsetting me terribly.

I'll try to keep this short - picked him up from school one day last week and he was whiny and petulant. Said his homework assignment was no electronics for one evening.  No biggie, put together a lego, we can do something together, it'll be fine (says I).  He refuses to get out of the car when we get home and says assignment doesn't start til he crosses the door.  Starts using phone when he gets inside.  Refuses to hand it over.  Whiny whiny whiny the entire time (it's not fair, it's stupid, etc).  Goes onto porch clutching his phone because that's not "inside the door."  (remember it was freezing cold last week).  I say, seems like this assignment has struck a nerve, hand over the phone (whiny the entire time, lashing out - now I'm taking phone away as punishment).

OK, so moving on.  Time for dinner.  I ask him to come into kitchen to help me with dinner.  Refuses.  Starts playing this "game" where he's circling the house, always once room away, refusing to answer me or now my husband who is trailing after him from room to room.  I yell at him to get into the kitchen now.

Bottom line - at this point I've lost all patience with him.

He finally comes in kitchen, points at food, says very sarcastically, are you happy now?  And I grab him and say "you better straighten up, or I am going to slap you!"  He twists away.  (Note - there has never been any corporal punishment in the house).

DH and I try to cool down at this point, but he's having none of it.

DH leaves for meeting, I take him to soccer, try to talk to him in the car - Hey, let's talk about this, we've had a bad evening, let's get past it, don't let this fester, we need to talk...nothing.

And he's refused to talk to me since.

He's not gotten his phone back.  I've tried to treat him normally, saying a pleasant good morning, good night, hug him, pat his shoulder when passing (as I would usually do).  I've tried talking to him one on one - please don't give me the silent treatment, it's not fair, I need your to talk to me and we can work this out, pleas let's talk about it, now that we're all calm - no response.

It's awful.  He's incredibly stubborn.  How do you get past this?  [/quote]

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