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[quote=Anonymous]My parents are in their mid 70s and still living in the house I grew up in, which is really big (6500 sf) - 3 stories including the basement where the laundry and and their "offices" are (they are retired). They are constantly going up and down the stairs and it's getting to be too much for my dad, who really wants to move to an apartment because it will be more manageable. My mom is completely against it because she has so many memories in the house and can't bear the thought of leaving. It's not in great shape overall (because they refuse to put any money in to fixing things) and the layout is not modern so anyone who buys it will likely knock it down completely or renovate it significantly, which my mom hates the idea of. Also, they have tons of stuff literally bursting from the seams - they somehow saved tons of furniture and house items from when their own parents passed away and part of our basement looks like a flea market. Although the items are very sentimental to my mom in particular, its mostly junk that no one will buy and certainly none of us kids want - so my mom knows they would need to donate or dump a ton. They aren't in the DC area and my mom loves to have her kids and grandkids come visit and stay with them, which won't be possible if they are in a smaller apartment so my mom seems unwilling to accept that.

At first downsizing was really just something my dad was talking about, but a couple weeks ago he told us he found an apartment and wants to put in an offer but my mom "forbids" him but he is going to ignore her and do it anyway. This has caused a huge disagreement among my parents and they are barely speaking with one another. They have both reached out to me (and my sister) separately to plead their case and badmouth the other one.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Is there anything my sister and I can do to help mediate or is it best to try to stay out of it? My parents have been married for 45 years and I have never seen them like this and neither of them will back down. I actually think they should downsize but my mom just won't hear it.[/quote]

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