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[quote=Anonymous]
I agree with the therapist on that particular point (you cannot control someone else's thoughts, but you can demand that they do not express it verbally or through body language).

BUT. I had a bad experience with our couples' therapist, and generally don't believe in them, because they tend to try and patch things up, and therefore minimize what's wrong with the relationship, and deflect blame from the person who is most responsible, if there is one who is more at fault than the other.

More importantly, many relationships have issues because one or both parties have an underlying mental health issue. Therapists are usually not trained or licensed to diagnose and treat such disorders! And because of their training which goes in a totally different direction from medical treatment of diagnoses, they may downplay the impact of  depression, ADHD, anxiety, OCD, autism, etc, on the relationship.

My husband has diagnosed ADHD for which he refuses treatment, and most of his frustrating behaviors stem from that disorder. Our therapist refused to address the elephant in the room and kept wanting to talk about his relation with his parents. I was hoping she would suggest that he continue to examine what impact ADHD had on our relationship, but she did not, and he was comforted in his opinion that I was exaggerating a lot of his symptoms. Exceedingly aggravating.

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