Reply to Has verbal abuse shattered your ambitions?

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Reply to "Has verbal abuse shattered your ambitions?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are giving her this power.

You are also using her as a crutch and excuse.

YOU are in charge of your life, your relationships, your body, your career, your pursuit of mental health resources, the thoughts you entertain in your own head.

You can explore therapy or simply no contact with your mother.

But as an adult, at the end of the day, you are in charge of your life. You don't get to blame your lack of ambition or pursuit of a good life on someone else. [/quote]

Very true.

What's probably happening is this: You may have ADHD or some other disability that is hindering your ability to succeed to your potential. Your mother, despite the lack of diagnosis, probably intuits that difference in you and out of ignorance, anxiety on your behalf, or embarrassment that you're not successful enough, lashes out at you in an effort to make you more functional. This has the opposite result, and here you are.

So first you should do some research and figure out whether you have something (other than a verbally abusive mother!). If you believe you may have issues, get yourself to a psychologist for an assessment, and then if there is a diagnosis, work with a psychiatrist (if meds are involved) or therapist to make yourself more functional.

ADHD runs in our family. My mother didn't know why I was slow, inattentive and prone to daydreaming, but definitely yelled at me for it because she worried about me. It wasn't until my son was diagnosed with severe ADHD that I realize I had it too. Of course your situation may be completely different, but just in case you're like us (and it could be a learning disorder, or anxiety or depression, not ADHD), I wanted to share this information.

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