Reply to Help me! How to curb not picking fights for petty reasons ?

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[quote=Anonymous]another piece of advice - its a lot harder for fathers to bond with their children in the first year since babies are so heavily dependent on mom/nursing for most family dynamics

I found (i also have a history of depression and anxiety) that i was picking fights similar to this with my husband, because I was already doing so much - and i did it very well - and i would get frustrated that he didn't do it "as well" as me, instead of focusing that he did it INSTEAD of me having to do it (does that make sense?)

i found that setting aside some time (the goal is just a an hour or two each weekend) where it was father-child time [b]WITHOUT ME AROUND[/b] (very important!) was really helpful.  It helped HIM grow more confident in his ability to care for the child, it helped me grow more confident in his care and appreciate that HE was doing it instead of ME (as opposed to critiquing HOW he was doing it) and it also gave me time away for self-care which improved my mood

be kind with yourself, these are common challenges that new parents face, but if you don't look for solutions (which it sounds like you are doing!) it can also become the death knell for a marriage[/quote]

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